So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
