She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
