Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
