My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
