I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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