this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize