one two three fourrrrnication!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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