I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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