I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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