Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
