I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
