Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
