i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
