Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
