is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
