He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
