Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
