i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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