Just cropdusted the office
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
