Sry I called you an 8
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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