I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize