Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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