When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
