sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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