Me too!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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