ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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