i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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