Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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