She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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