how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
