giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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