Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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