you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If I die, sorry about rent.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
