Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize