there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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