i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
