dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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