Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
