I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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