I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
