there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
