This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
