Non-Jews are for practice
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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