I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
