Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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