Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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