He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
