i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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