Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
