Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
