I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
