just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
