It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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