she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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