I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
